|YOU: I read about Dave in the paper. What
ME: One day Johnny Bones, Tricia and Dave were hanging out at my place and Dave got really, really mad because John kept grabbing for his nuts and wouldn't stop. That's when Dave turned into a horrible monster that could only communicate by taping notes to his body.
|YOU: What did you guys do?
ME: In an act of courage and quick thinking, Tricia rubbed his stomach until he fell fast asleep.
|YOU: Then what?
ME: While asleep, I guess he calmed down because the monster turned back into Dave.
|YOU: Wow, that's a great story!
ME: Yeah, but it's not over. While Dave/the monster was sleeping, we put stuff all over him. He looked like a junkyard scarecrow.
|YOU: I'm glad there's a happy ending!
ME: Not really. When Dave woke up, we decided we liked the monster better. So Johnny tried to get him mad again by giving him purple nurples, but it didn't work. Dave's nurples were really purple by the time we gave up and realized that we were stuck with Dave.
YOU: Too bad.
ME: Yeah, maybe next time.
The Baby Years
MONSTER! On All Hallows
Eve Vice Squad My
Excellent Hiking Adventure Smells Fishy
In Defense of Frosty