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Pace University
MS Publishing (almost).

Been chasing this elusive degree for almost five years.
I started this two-year program when I realized I wasn't going to find a real job anytime soon after I graduated from Fordham. I'm still talking about finishing up. Actually, the only thing left is writing the thesis -- if you have an extra one lying around, I wouldn't mind taking a look at it.


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Fordham University,
BA Communications & Spanish Literature
One school, two majors, four years, thousands in debt

Busted for sneaking beer into the dorm for a Kinks concert. It's documented that my roommate and I denied the request to turn over the beer 21 times. We eventually gave in. Also busted for shooting BB guns out of our dorm window. Got thrown off campus for that-- but we never actually left. I bet Dean Gray's kids are still shooting my guns in their backyard.


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Xaverian High School
The coolest nerd in my graduating class

Part of gym class was running a mile. I made it in just under 17 minutes. I once did 3/4 of a pull-up once, too. Hey, physical fitness was not a membership requirement for the Board Games Club, anyway.



William McKinley Junior High
Best damn 2nd clarinetist in the senior band

Thousands and thousands of games of moonies. If you don't know what that is, all I'll say is that you haven't lived until you've experienced the fear of having your hands on the wall, your feet spread apart and your ass in the air with an eighth-grader trying to completely separate your butt-cheeks by throwing a Spalding at you from ten feet away.


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PS 102: The Bay View School
Blackboard monitor extraordinaire

I lost to a girl in the controversial School President Election of 1980. Rumor has it the difference was only six votes. You suck, Linda Hilton.


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